Civility is Politically Correct
JACK
I have been disturbed by the bitterness that is permeating the atmosphere. Let’s reflect on what our country and our philosophy is all about. It was built on a respect for each other as unique individuals and if not agreement, certainly tolerance for opinions that directly disagreed with our own. I wonder what has happened to the spirit of our founding fathers. The problems they had to solve were huge. They were creating an entirely new concept of government. Principle among the standards was the quote from Voltaire, "I do not agree with a word you say, but I will fight to the death for your right to say it".
Today, with the rancor and animosity that is spun out every day, we need to reexamine the great American dream.
HILLARY
But, Jack, has there every really be a time when people fought fair? It seams that there have always been gangs and wars and violent disagreement. Are you saying that there was a golden time in our history when people really sat down with no ill will and in a positive fashion discussed their different opinions?
JACK
Yes. We came very close to it. It was called the Constitutional Convention. And people of diverse opinions strongly felt came together and discussed them openly, and the result was the American Constitution. Let’s understand that certain words really do not work. For example, you mentioned "fair". If you take the same problem ask ten people what is "fair" I think you’ll get eleven different opinions. There are facts and there are concepts. 2+2 will always equal 4, and there is no quarrel with this statement. But, let’s be "fair" is the beginning of a controversy. I am not talking about what is right or wrong, fair or unfair, I am talking about the spirit with which you enter the debate, and the desire to come to an agreement. In all my years in business, I lived by certain standards — one was in making a deal, you try (emphasis on try) to give the other guy what he wants. You also understand that the purpose of negotiation is to work out or to settle problems, or at least to approach, but not necessarily to totally solve them. It’s a question of expectations. Boil it down to relationships — if you are too demanding and expect too much, that relationship is on the road to destruction.
HILLARY
I don’t know if this was the impetus of this discussion for you, but you just made me think of the debates the country has been watching recently. I see a lot of the bitterness that you are talking about. They aren’t engaged in a negotiation, and they aren’t trying to write a deal, let alone, a whole constitution, yet they are in this ugly competition as if their wrangling down in the mud will build something constructive. Since I’ve been watching these debates they have always been a bit ugly, so I can only ask you, Jack, has it always been like this? Have politicians always spent so much time attacking their opponents, rather than maintaining a positive position about themselves?
JACK
There has always been controversy, but the drumbeat and the rancor has increased dramatically, at many times it wipes out the real issues and debates get entangled with personal antagonism. Let’s look at an example: One of the over-riding issues in the country today is the war in Iraq. If you feel as I do, that we should get out, there should be solid reasons and the worst thing to do is to state that the other side is imperialistic, greedy, and mean-spirited. On the other end of the debate, I don’t want to be told I am unpatriotic, do not support the troops, or traitorous. I am not talking about right or wrong, I am referring to the need for intelligent debate. This does not mean a lack of passion; it means that we must go in with the respect for the thinking and the motives of the other side. In the heat of the debate, I realized that I have been guilty, as has every body else. We start with the need to communicate, and there is no communication when you are hurling insults or bombs.
HILLARY
This story is certainly off-politics, but I think captures what you’re saying. Since you were there, you know that I got married a couple of weeks ago. While on a quick break, my husband and I went horseback riding with a small group. I got to chatting with the woman in front me, and it came out that we had just tied the knot. She said, without a pause, "no wonder you to are so nice to each other." And that really got me to thinking — people really stop being nice to one another at some point, and I don’t understand why. One of the promises that I made to my husband is that I will always try to speak nicely to him, even (or especially) when I’m unhappy with something. Where has that courtesy gone?
JACK
What we are talking about is universal. The secret of a long happy marriage is mutual respect and a sense of humor; perhaps it is one of the secrets for political success. It is not necessary to always agree, but it is necessary to respect the other’s opinion. This is really the American Way.
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