Comments on: National Day of Listening http://communicationisinspiration.com/2008/11/25/national-day-of-listening/ Generation 2 Generation: Let's Talk Fri, 02 Jul 2010 19:09:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=Communication is Inspiration hourly 1 By: David Braun http://communicationisinspiration.com/2008/11/25/national-day-of-listening/comment-page-1/#comment-1780 David Braun Wed, 26 Nov 2008 23:25:35 +0000 http://communicationisinspiration.com/2008/11/25/national-day-of-listening/#comment-1780 There is no doubt there is value in listening. But the real issue is understanding what is being conveyed. Often people do not reveal the real reasons behind their spoken words and it remains for the listener to discern those reasons.(which is a good rationale for listening carefully, watching body language, etc.) One of the facts of life is that managers who rule by threat or fear rarely get the real reasons behind the employees conduct. The same analogy holds for other relationships, including partnerships, marriage, etc. Real listening requires stamina and discipline-it being difficult to be interested in another's story if the listener does not respect the speaker or if the listener is only waiting for the story to end so the listener can tell his story (usually with the same lack of interest in the new listener) How our society values the listener who is focussed on the speaker and does not check out the surroundings or indicates he or she is bored or uninterested or does not have the time to hear and respond meaningfully to the speaker indicating appreciation and understanding of what the speaker is trying to say or convey. Some women have it in spades, talking to a man and making him feel that for that period of time no one else is in the room. Of it works for those ladies it will work for each of us. The motto should be to listen to understand. Dave There is no doubt there is value in listening. But the real issue is understanding what is being conveyed. Often people do not reveal the real reasons behind their spoken words and it remains for the listener to discern those reasons.(which is a good rationale for listening carefully, watching body language, etc.) One of the facts of life is that managers who rule by threat or fear rarely get the real reasons behind the employees conduct. The same analogy holds for other relationships, including partnerships, marriage, etc.
Real listening requires stamina and discipline-it being difficult to be interested in another's story if the listener does not respect the speaker or if the listener is only waiting for the story to end so the listener can tell his story (usually with the same lack of interest in the new listener) How our society values the listener who is focussed on the speaker and does not check out the surroundings or indicates he or she is bored or uninterested or does not have the time to hear and respond meaningfully to the speaker indicating appreciation and understanding of what the speaker is trying to say or convey. Some women have it in spades, talking to a man and making him feel that for that period of time no one else is in the room. Of it works for those ladies it will work for each of us. The motto should be to listen to understand. Dave

]]> By: Scott http://communicationisinspiration.com/2008/11/25/national-day-of-listening/comment-page-1/#comment-1776 Scott Tue, 25 Nov 2008 19:34:26 +0000 http://communicationisinspiration.com/2008/11/25/national-day-of-listening/#comment-1776 Hillary and Jack - Thank you for alerting us to the Day of Listening, and for your most insightful thoughts. I can tell you unequivocally that I learn so much more from listening to others than I do from talking myself, or going forward with only my own views and perspectives. I have had the chance to put my listening skills to good use in my career, and it has led to great successes. Much of my career has been making sure that companies run their business in a legal and compliant fashion. Often, we performed reviews and audits that demonstrated that some employees were not following the rules, despite having been trained on the subject. Executives have said things to me like "just tell them to do it right!" or, "let's fire them and replace them with people who will!" Before taking any of those drastic (and often ineffectual) steps, I would go and talk to people, and ask them WHY they were performing the tasks in the manner that they were, and WHY the were making the decisions that the made. Listening to the answers was most enlightening. For example, employees may not have the time or resources to go through the steps necessary to ensure compliance. Or, Managers may be encouraging employees to take short cuts in order to increase the level of production. There could be many reasons for errors that have nothing to do with employee incompetence, or willing disobedience. By listening to people, I was able to come up with effective solutions to help not only the employees, but the company as a whole. Thank you again for discussing a topic that can help all of us! Scott Hillary and Jack – Thank you for alerting us to the Day of Listening, and for your most insightful thoughts.

I can tell you unequivocally that I learn so much more from listening to others than I do from talking myself, or going forward with only my own views and perspectives.

I have had the chance to put my listening skills to good use in my career, and it has led to great successes. Much of my career has been making sure that companies run their business in a legal and compliant fashion. Often, we performed reviews and audits that demonstrated that some employees were not following the rules, despite having been trained on the subject. Executives have said things to me like "just tell them to do it right!" or, "let's fire them and replace them with people who will!"

Before taking any of those drastic (and often ineffectual) steps, I would go and talk to people, and ask them WHY they were performing the tasks in the manner that they were, and WHY the were making the decisions that the made. Listening to the answers was most enlightening. For example, employees may not have the time or resources to go through the steps necessary to ensure compliance. Or, Managers may be encouraging employees to take short cuts in order to increase the level of production. There could be many reasons for errors that have nothing to do with employee incompetence, or willing disobedience.

By listening to people, I was able to come up with effective solutions to help not only the employees, but the company as a whole.

Thank you again for discussing a topic that can help all of us!

Scott

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