The Great Decision

JACK
It has been three weeks since we did our last posting. I would like to say that it was something frivolous that kept us from our scheduled rounds. The reality is that the past several weeks have forced me to make a life-changing decision. I have often expressed my feelings that, on the path through life, we pass many landmines. Having lived for 85 years I passed through the Great Depression of the 1930s, World War II, and the daily dangers of life, which grow at an alarming rate. In addition to accidents and illness, many of us have a feeling of doom that goes with the massive amounts of frightening news. I have heard more disaster stories in the past few weeks than in the past twenty years. So many people have lost their jobs, retirement incomes, and their ability to pay for basic medicine that is increasingly more important as one gets older.

Over the past three years I have been threatened by a Staph infection that resulted from two knee replacements. My body was waging a losing fight against the Staph infection, with the use of antibiotics that were no longer proving effective. The only medical treatment that I was offered was what my doctor described as the "Hiroshima" of operations. Actually, it involves two knee surgeries and intravenous antibiotic treatment for six weeks in between surgeries. The time had come to make a decision. It was a long, tough mental battle whether I was prepared to endure another year of pain and uncertainty. I was informed that at the end of the line the operation had an 85% chance for success. At 85, it was not an easy decision – either do it, or toss in the towel.

HILLARY
So I'm seating here with you 2 ½ weeks post-operative. I know it's early, but do you feel like taking on this process was the right choice?

JACK
At this point, I could say much about my quality of life, but once the decision was made it seemed to me there was no other place to go. And, as I have always been an optimist, I was able to turn this tough decision around and consider how fortunate I was that the problem was something that could be cured. Even at this very rough stage, as I am in the process of recovering from the first operation, I have turned my mental state around so that I do not dread the next one scheduled for May 19th.

HILLARY
I think this is amazing. Prior to the operation, you and I seriously discussed if the pain of this process would be too much, and not worth the effort. You said that if you were my age, or even 20 years younger, you wouldn't hesitate to have the operations. At 85, however, the stress and risks were higher, and the potential benefit was questionable and certainly not guaranteed. So, what internal debate did you have that geared you up for this challenge?

JACK
First is the understanding that there are no guarantees in life. Then I thought of what Shakespeare wrote in Julius Caesar – "Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once." The genius of great writing is that it always reflects the universal truth.

HILLARY
So what are you saying — you couldn't back down from a fight?

JACK
When you're in combat you face death every time you go out, and perhaps this experience helped to eliminate the fear. The dominant thought in the process was that I have led an extraordinary life, and my existence is still very productive.

HILLARY
So, you had hope.

JACK
I therefore felt that exciting and fulfilling new adventures lay ahead, and the process of recovery was one of those adventures from which much can be learned. Also, I realized how thoroughly I enjoy all of my relationships starting with my marriage and family, and proceeding through the many friends and relations I have. There are no guarantees as to how long it will last, but in this new state of mind I could not give it up voluntarily, or at least without one hell of a fight.

HILLARY
I think there is a lesson in your experience for all of us that may be feeling like they are in a crisis situation. You evaluated all of your options, weighing the risks of action and inaction. After you discovered what the choice came down to, you recognized all of the aspects of your life for which you were truly grateful, and there was enough for you to push through this terrible time. If we can focus on the things that we have, rather than focus on the struggle itself, then we can choose to let those aspects empower us to get past any crisis.

JACK
The operative word is "choice". We all have to come to grips with our own realities. When I was in the middle of my career I coined the phrase that "All Business is Personal". Now as I look at the many decisions that we make, the truth hits me that "All Living is Personal". This applies to anything that affects us, no matter how remote. At the end of each circumstance you have a choice to make, and this choice leads to many more choices. Isn't it fascinating that my choice to endure the operations and treatments can lead to a whole new stream of experiences?

HILLARY
So you're thankful?

JACK
The remarkable happening is the outpouring of love and good wishes from family and friends around the world. This gives me a very warm feeling, and makes me VERY thankful. And now I look forward to the next chapter.

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